FRIENDSHIP, AS SEEN IN JONATHAN & DAVID
By David J. Riggs
Intro.
A. The need for friendship among human beings is selfevident.
1. Jesus, Himself, had those who were especially close to Him -
Peter, James, and John - as is shown in several passages.
Matt. 17:1; Mark 5:37; 14:33
B. To have friends, we must be a friend. Prov. 18:24
1. This is easier said than done. How does one go about being a
friend?
C. One of the greatest friendships revealed in the Scriptures, is
that of Jonathan and David.
1. By looking at their friendship, we can discover a few
secrets to good friendships.
I. HONESTY. 1 Sam. 20:1-3
A. David was completely honest with his friend Jonathan concerning
his troubles, even though Jonathan's father was the cause.
1. Jonathan was just as forthright about his conviction that
David's fear was unfounded.
B. The strongest bonds are created by those who allow their
friends into innermost places of the heart - revealing the
hopes, dreams, and fears.
1. A good friend is someone we can turn to for advice. Prov.
27:9
2. A good friend keeps things confidential. Prov. 16:28; 17:9
3. Honest counsel can strengthen the friendship. Prov. 27:17
a. As a hard iron or steel will bring a knife to a sharper
edge, so one's friend will make one's expression on
one's face look better.
b. Friendship destroys depression, and puts one in a better
mood. makeup.
4. One should never try to win friends:
a. By flattery. Prov. 27:14
b. By gifts. Prov. 19:6
c. By money. Prov. 19:4; 14:20-21
II. MUTUAL AID. 1 Sam. 20:4-7
A. Jonathan and David had a genuine concern for one another's
welfare, and were willing to aid one another.
B. Everyone needs a friend who cares enough to do whatever it
takes to help him in time of need.
1. Friendship is like a good plant. It requires cultivation and
watering to make it grow.
C. True friends will point out a sin or fault, though it might be
painful for them to do so. Prov. 27:6; Psalm 141:5
1. A friend will not be negative only. They will be praising
and encouraging, but when the time comes for rebuke, they
will do that as well.
D. Friendships can be better and stronger than family ties. Prov.
18:24b; 17:17b; 27:10b
1. A friendship that springs from appreciation and practical
helpfulness is likely to be more deeply seated and lasting
than one based upon blood relationships.
2. A fleshly brother will object to being disturbed by
listening to a tale of woe concerning his brother's
misfortune.
a. The brother reasons, concerning himself, that he has
made his life good by sound judgment and hard work
and his brother should learn to do the same.
b. On the other hand, a close friend will give a listening
and sympathizing ear.
III. COMMITMENT. 1 Sam. 20:14-17
A. Jonathan and David made a covenant with each other, promising
fidelity for all time.
1. They did, indeed, stay friends through thick and thin until
they were parted by death.
B. True friendship is unchangeable and constant. Prov. 17:17a
1. One should never forsake his friend. Prov. 27:10
a. Long standing friendships should not be dropped for no
compelling reasons.
b. One who has been a friend to the family should not be
forgotten or neglected.
C. True friends are valuable.
1. We must cultivate the ties that bind our hearts in Christian
love.
IV. LOYALTY. 1 Sam. 20:30-34
A. Jonathan made his stand for his friend who was right and
against his father who was wrong.
1. One of the greatest things in Jonathan's life was when, a
few years later, Saul had the army of Israel hunting David,
he went out into the forest to encourage David in the Lord.
1 Sam. 23:15-18
B. True loyalty builds lasting friendship.
1. A good friend will be there in time of need.
C. One of the great sorrows of Job was that his friends had turned
against him. Job 19:19
1. They were miserable comforters in Job's time of need. Job
16:2
2. Probably when his own son Absolom was trying to take over
the kingdom by force, David wrote Psalm 69:20.
D. Of course, one should not stand with his friend if he is wrong.
1. However, a good friend is able to see that encouragement is
needed, and they will be there to lend a helping hand.
V. GENUINE EMOTION. 1 Sam. 20:41
A. When David and Jonathan realized they had to separate from each
other, and they might never see each other again, they kissed
each other and wept together.
1. David wept even more than Jonathan.
B. Great friendships are characterized by strong feelings.
1. We, especially men, must not be embarrassed to express our
emotions.
C. After Jonathan's death, David expressed in a Psalm the great
love he and Jonathan had for each other. 2 Sam. 1:25-26
VI. LIKE PRECIOUS FAITH. 1 Sam. 20:42
A. David and Jonathan's friendship had a spiritual dimension to
it. They both had strong faith in the Lord.
1. Swearing was allowed under the Old Covenant, and the both
swore goodness to their descendants forever.
a. This is why David years later blessed Jonathan's son
Mepibosheth who was lame in both of his feet. 2 Sam.
9:7
B. To reach the highest level, true friendships must be based upon
a mutual faith and commitment to the Lord.
1. We sing a song which says, "Make friends of God's
children."
2. Indeed, we should cultivate the friendship of fellow members
of the body of Christ.
3. Christians are to be friendly, kind, and given to
hospitality. Rom. 12:13; 1 Pet. 4:9; 3 John 13-14
4. The rush of modern living has interfered.
a. Nowadays, everyone wants their privacy respected, but
one's "want of privacy" should not cause him to neglect
hospitality and friendships.
b. Courtesy, kindness, and helpfulness will never go out of
date.
C. Friendship with the wrong kind of person can be harmful. Prov.
22:24
1. Indeed, there is great danger regarding evil companionships.
1 Cor. 15:33
2. We should be companions of those who fear God. Psalm
119:63
Concl.
A. Jonathan and David in the most difficult trials of their lives
discovered the secrets of a great and godly friendship.
B. The value of our friends should lie in quality, rather than
quantity.
1. One good friend is worth more than ten who are not so
good.
2. One personal friend is worth more than a hundred "fair
weather friends."
3. Certain types of friends can be a detriment to our
relationship with God.
4. Having too many friends can conflict with our service to
God.
C. In closing, let us never forget the one true great friend,
Jesus Christ who laid down His life for us. John 15:13