Preached in Everett, Washington (7-25-09)

When someone says “mixed marriage” to you, what do think of? As I grew up a “mixed marriage” was when a black person married a white person. Today we might call that an interracial marriage. What does God call a “mixed marriage”?

To God a mixed marriage is not the result of differing social status, or nationality, or even racial differences. God views marriage between a non-believer and a Christian as a mixed marriage. A Christian who is yoked to a non-Christian is one who is in a mixed marriage. To start, I want us to use some things from the “Sermon on the Mount” and apply them to marriage. I think going through these will be a good reminder for those of us who are married as well as for those of us who want to be married some day.

THE SERMON ON THE MOUNT APPLIED TO MARRIAGE

• Basics that can help a marriage (Matthew 5:3-12) – All of these are qualities that a Christian is to have.
• Hindrances to spouses (Matthew 5:22-24) – A Christian works out problems.
• Lusting for others (Matthew 5:27-32) – Much different than people in the world today. Christians take this very seriously and are content with their spouses. 
• Honesty in marriage (Matthew 5:33-37) – You want to stick out in the world today; simply be honest. 
• Unconditional Love (Matthew 5:38-6:4) – This is the cornerstone of Jesus and His love toward us. Christian spouses are to have unconditional love toward one another (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). 
• Humble prayer in a marriage (Matthew 6:6, 7:7-11) – One of the greatest blessings of a marriage is that you can pray together and for one another. 
• Godly priorities in marriage (Matthew 6:19-21, 24, 33-34) 
• Following Christ (Matthew 7:21-24)

If we apply the Sermon on the Mount to the marriage relationship we end up with a triangle with God at the top and spouses at each corner. As they grow towards God, they grow closer to one another.

How can this happen if you are married to a non-Christian? Notice what happened to Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-4). God did not want Solomon and the Israelites to intermarry (or be yoked to) with people of other nations because “Surely they will turn away your hearts after their gods” (verse 2). The warning is still very real today! Every person has something or someone that they serve. If the object of their service is not the one true and living God, it is some sort of the idol in place of God.

BIBLICAL “MIXED MARRIAGES”

• Moses and Zipporah is an exception. Zipporah was not an Israelite but was of the land of Midian (i.e., Midianite or an Ethiopian). Why did this work? Zipporah was the daughter of a man who loved God (Jethro) and she loved God (Exodus 2:16-25, 4:18-26, 18:1-12, Numbers 12). Both Moses and Zipporah loved God, sought His will, and both were accepted by God!

• Ruth and Boaz is another exception. Ruth was not an Israelite but was of the land of Moab. Why did this work? Because Ruth loved the God of Miriam with all her heart and Boaz loved God (Ruth 1:16-17, 2:4, 10-13, 20, 3:8-13, 4:9-17). Ruth became the mother of Obed the father of Jesse, the father of David, in the lineage of Jesus!

If you are dating someone who has no interest in the gospel, be warned of a very hard life. While dating, keep your emotions in check. Keep your head in front of your heart. Find out whether the non-Christian you are dating shows a strong desire to please God and follow His will. If you are dating a Christian, find out if this Christian truly loves God and puts Him first in their life. If they do not want to serve God you are better off on your own, in my opinion, strongly yoked to Christ (Philippians 4:13, 2 Timothy 4:16-18).

HERE ARE SOME ATTITUDES TO LOOK FOR IN THOSE WHO YOU MIGHT DATE

Willing Obedience To God: Look for someone who will listen and act without hesitation to what God says in His word, "I made haste, and did not delay to keep Your" (Psalm 119:60). Is the person you're interested in consistently looking for ways to submit more of his or her life to God? Does he or she work to overcome bad habits? Is this person being conformed to today's culture, or does he or she push against it, seeking to be transformed into Christ's image" (Romans 12:1-2)? Do you get the impression that this person thinks they have "arrived" spiritually? Or, is this person always seeking to improve themselves? How do they respond to chances to be involved in Bible classes?

Humility: "Two people don't keep a marriage strong because they never make mistakes; they keep a marriage strong by maintaining an attitude of humility that is quick to confess sin, put the other first, and seek forgiveness" (Harris p. 197). Do they put others first or do they always need to be served (Philippians 2:3-4)?

Contentment/Hope: Does he or she nit-pick at the faults of others or consistently encourage? Do they view his or her circumstances with a spirit of hopelessness, or do they remain confident of God's faithfulness? Does this person seek to make the best even in bad situations or do bad situations devastate them (Romans 8:28, James 1:2-3)?

What does one do if they find that they are unequally yoked in a marriage to a non-believer?

I recommend two passages to help with this situation (1 Peter 3:1-16, 1 Corinthians 7:10-14). Two Christian ladies very dear to me have lived these verses and converted their husbands to the Lord. One was married to a man who was a Baptist. He is now a Christian who preaches and teaches. He even converted his mom and dad to the Lord. The other was married to an atheist. It took her 20 years and then one day as they were traveling through Tennessee on a trip he told her he wanted to go to Oak Ridge, to be baptized, and become a Christian. He has been active and faithful ever since. Last time they visited he was on one of our TV programs with me!

It is interesting that widows, if their husband dies, are at liberty to marry, only in the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:39). As a mature Christian, a widow should know what is best in her life for the Lord. They know the trials of being “Unequally Yoked” to a non-Christian. Look at your Bibles for a moment at verse 39. Mine has a cross-reference to 2 Corinthians 6:14! Isn’t that our theme!

INVITATION

All people are not commanded to get married. Actually many Christians have made the choice to remain single in this life and dedicated to the Lord. Christians dedicated in this fashion to the Lord can be very productive in His Kingdom and should be encouraged!

But all people must be married to Jesus in order to have their sins washed away and to have eternity to look forward to (Ephesians 5:30-32).

To become married to Christ you must submit to the yoke He has for you (Matthew 11:28-30). Believe Him, Confess that He is the Son of God, Repent of your sins, be Baptized in water to wash away your sins, and then Live your life for Him!

How about you (Revelation 22:17)? If we can help you please make it known while we stand and sing!